1. |
New King
02:52
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(Do you wanna be the New King?)
I don’t usually do this
Make a hip hop ep
But I had to.
You think I want to be here?
You think I want this weight on my shoulders?
I don’t.
But sometimes you have to do what you don’t even want to be - uh
can I take that again?
Ugh.
I was summoned by the powers that be
They came to my door, said make an E.P.
I said no way, and they said yes way,
And I said okay, I’ll make an EP
and honestly, I’m a little bit scared.
I’ve heard some hip-hop but I’m not prepared
to be the best rapper that the world has seen
That’s when the powers turned and they spoke to me and said.
"Dude, it’s me Matt.
Why are you talking weird and acting like that?
I’m your roommate, not the powers that be.
What is all this about a rap EP?"
He said
"Dude, I’m your roommate.
and I’m getting worried about your state.
Are you sure you’re feeling alright?
Melissa’s coming over later, it’s pasta night."
And that was it,
he went into the kitchen
I said to myself “I accept your mission”.
I’m gonna make an EP 6 tracks long
I’ll put it on Bandcamp where tracks belong.
Yo I gotta learn how to do this
I already know, and I don’t know if you knew this
but Rock n Roll is dead, Hip Hop is the new thing
If that’s the case it’s time for a new king
Yo I’m the new king
y’all don’t even know what I’m doing
I’m changing the game, I’m changing the scene
Everybody clap twice for the new king (clap clap)
Yo I’m the new king
Y’all don’t even know what you are viewing
Scared of commitment but I’ll be your new fling
Everybody clap twice for the new king (clap clap)
Oh you’re too kind, for letting me shine
For giving me time, for letting me rhyme
For hearing my song, for singing along
For making me strong, for playing ping pong
For feeding me grapes, for watching my tapes
For wearing my capes, for teaching me shapes
For clipping my nails for sipping my ales,
For shipping my sails, forgiving my fails.
New Kings taking over the land
And the sea and the sky, like the back of my hand.
Your wish is my command, If you’re wishing for a new king
Seems like a lie, but I swear it’s true thing
New king, nothing will be the same
Now all that I need is a name.
I’ll just use my name. Nick!
That should be fine.
I don’t know why other rappers don’t do that.
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4. |
Skit
01:49
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5. |
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(There is no place like Nebraska)
Iowa you’re not even close
follow me i’ll be your host
Such a beautiful place
Never go to Iowa.
Let me take you to the spot where I come from
Let me show you how I’m not just a dumb dumb.
Let me break you off a piece of the good life.
The sunset and the stars, pretty good right?
Lincoln baby I see you winking.
Sayin' come home maybe just for a weekend
Gallup poles said it’s the happiest place
and people axing why I got the happiest face
Cuz man I’m Nebraska born
Corn fed on Nebraska corn
Iowa Corn? It just don’t cut it boo.
Shout out to the man, Tom Osbourne say what it do.
(There is no place like Nebraska)
He’s a former football coach
Iowa you’re not even close
Oh it feels so fine.
We got an airport and there’s never a line.
Props to LPS and UNL
I never get schooled, I was schooled so well.
Humann elementary Pound and Southwest
is where i cut my teeth
and now I sound best
and if I sound stressed, it’s cuz I haven't been back
to my breath of fresh air, my midnight snack.
And if you don’t know I won’t detonate ya
Listen up, y’all let me educate ya
Our legislature is the only Unicameral
Take a picture baby fill your camera roll.
Unemployment rate is down to 2.2 percent
A stable local economy cheap housing and rent.
If you think we aren’t progressive then go check the facts
We’re getting better we rock a progressive income tax
We invented arbor day, it’s straight up genius man
and have you seen the Capitol it’s shaped just like a penis? Blam!
(There is no place like Nebraska)
Dick Cheney not a fun dude.
Dick Cavett much better dude.
Iowa just got sacked.
There’s more cows than people and that’s a fact
and I gotta give love to my local eats
Omaha steaks with the dopest meats.
Runza, Vals, they oh so prime
But where do I go when it’s taco time?
Shout out to Amigos you’re tacos are the best
Shout out to D’Leons your tacos are second best
Shout out to Taco Johns your tacos are third best
And I’m sorry Taco Inn, but I just wasn’t impressed.
Warren Buffet sat on a tuffet
And now he’s a billionaire!
Johnny Carson was Nebraska born
with
Kool Aid and Fred Astaire
Man it drives me crazy when people talk smack about my home.
Don’t do it! You haven't been there.
And in an unrelated note. Never go to Iowa.
It smells weird.
I don’t like it for some reason.
Iowa Sucks !
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6. |
Beth Kligerman
08:39
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